How to Feel Comfortable in Your Wedding Photos: Finding An Inclusive Photographer Who Welcomes Every Body
My clients tell me constantly, “I’m awkward in front of the camera.” But another thing I hear just as often is, “I don’t feel comfortable being photographed. I wish I looked different.”
That question tells me that too many people have learned to believe their body is something they need to fix before they deserve beautiful photographs, or that their body needs to be altered in photos to conform to some made up standard.
I don’t believe either of those things are true. You shouldn’t have to change your body to deserve beautiful photographs. And you shouldn’t have to love every part of yourself before you’re allowed to be photographed. That’s where my approach to body-inclusive photography comes in.
What does “Body Inclusive Photographer” mean to me?
I don’t think of body-inclusive photography as a social media trend or a marketing tactic. To me, it means recognizing that every body is worthy of being photographed and deserves to be treated with respect, compassion, honesty, and care.
Body inclusivity is a little different from body positivity. Do I believe every person I photograph has their own unique beauty? Absolutely. But I don’t believe you must be in a place where you love your body, actively practice body positivity, or feel comfortable showing off certain parts of yourself in order to have beautiful photographs taken.
Body inclusivity means I honor and respect your body, your comfort level, and your choices.
I’ll never tell you to pose in a way you don’t want to, or suggest that you wear something you’re uncomfortable wearing. Here’s an example: I’ll never tell you that you need to wear a dress for your portraits or even for your wedding if dresses aren’t something you feel like yourself in.
Every person and every body deserves to be documented as they are, at a level of comfort that feels right for them.
A Comfortable Inclusive Photography Experience Starts Before You Even Book Your Photography
Part of creating a safe experience for you is being body inclusive from the very beginning. I make no assumptions about your ability to pose while I’m planning your portraits. I have a posing system that allows me to direct you instead of put you into a pose, so no matter what your ability to move your body, you can have beautiful candid feeling pictures.
You might have noticed I don’t get very detailed about what to wear. I don’t show a lot of examples of clothing or pinterest inspiration outside of what my real couples wear for their photos. This is another part of body inclusive photography. If I make collages suggesting certain pieces of clothing, that will also suggest your body should look a certain way.
When it comes to how to dress for your photos, I’ll recommend colors for you, and send you tips with a color chart when you book your portraits. I’ll also use descriptive words like casual, sporty, comfortable, formal, or elegant to refer to a particular style of outfit that you might be comfortable in. I’ll never directly tell you what to wear. I want to emphasize dressing to feel comfortable and to feel like your authentic self.
A body inclusive photographer should provide posing that supports your comfort, not changes you.
Another aspect of being a body inclusive photographer that I take very seriously is posing. Posing should support the body you have, not try to make you look like someone else. That said, one pillar of body inclusivity is being able to listen to you when you talk about your insecurities and respecting your preferences.
I don’t pose people to hide them. I pose people to help them feel comfortable. Through movement, beautiful light, and moments of real connection, I want your focus to be on enjoying the people you’re with and the overall experience. The result is really nice pictures of you on a really good day.
As an inclusive photographer I respect that people have insecurities and parts of their body they’re still learning to love. I will never force body positivity on you. I respect that you might have mixed feelings about your body and I respect those feelings because honestly I have them about my body sometimes too.
Retouched photos should still look like you.
My editing philosophy is that photo retouching is part of why people hire a professional photographer. There are a million filters on phones for pictures and most of them aren’t very realistic. My goal with retouching is for someone to look at your picture, see it as a work of art, but not realize it’s been retouched.
My retouching process includes aiming for:
- Natural skin texture.
- Removing pimples, redness and other temporary skin irritants, but not removing features like natural freckles.
- Paying attention to wrinkles in clothing that aren’t part of the way the clothing naturally falls.
- Paying attention for flyaway hairs that aren’t a natural part of your hairstyle.
- Retouching only when requested or for temporary distractions.
- No slimming edits or making you “skinny”. I want to maintain your natural body proportions.
Inclusive photography means more than body size.
Body inclusivity extends beyond recognizing that people naturally have a variety of body shapes and sizes. It also means honoring the many ways our bodies can look and change throughout our lives.
That includes people with visible and invisible disabilities, scars, stretch marks, surgical changes, pregnancy and postpartum changes, bodies that change as we age, and gender-diverse bodies. A good photographer should be able to meet you where you are to create beautiful photos, not expect your body to conform to a particular standard before you step in front of the camera.
Body inclusivity in photography doesn’t stop with clients, it extends to the way we treat photographers too.
Being a body inclusive photographer also means I’m never going to judge another photographer’s abilities by their body shape.
Someone once asked me how I could be a wedding photographer at “my weight.” Many times I’ve also been told if I could lose weight and physically look a certain way I’d book more photography clients! I completely disagree with this. It caught me off guard, but it also reminded me how often we’re told directly or indirectly that our bodies determine our worth, our professionalism, or whether we deserve to be seen.
Those comments stayed with me for a long time. Not because it changed my ability to do my job, but because it reminded me how deeply our culture ties body size to value. We’re often told directly or indirectly that we should shrink or hide our bodies to be considered more professional, more attractive, more talented, or more valuable.
If someone could question whether I belonged behind the camera because of my body shape and size, it’s no wonder so many people question whether they belong in front of it, and some people stay away from having their picture taken all together! There is no such thing as a “photographer body”.
This is the reason body inclusivity matters so much to me. I know what it feels like to wonder if your body is the first thing people notice! I also know that your body has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to love, celebrate, create memories, or deserve to be photographed.
I believe all bodies deserve respect, including the body of the person photographing you. Wedding photographers come in all shapes, sizes, ages, abilities, races, genders, and identities. None of those things determine whether someone can create meaningful art or provide an incredible experience for you.
The same is true for the people I photograph. You don’t have to fit a certain mold to be deserving and receiving of beautiful photographs. All you need is to be comfortable and be encouraged to be yourself.
I want you to feel your memories.
The goal of professional photography for people is to commemorate your life. I want you to remember laughing with your partner, being proposed to, celebrating an engagement, saying your vows, hugging your family, dancing the night away. This is life in all it’s beautiful emotional glory.
You deserve to exist in photos.
Stop waiting until you lose the weight, or until you “learn” to love yourself, or until you fit some specific cultural beauty standard. Your body isn’t the price of admission to a fun photography experience and beautiful memories. You and the people you love are worth remembering now, exactly as you are! My job is to help you realize that, and celebrate it.
