Should You Elope? Everything You Need to Know Before You Decide

Should you elope or not?

Planning a wedding today comes with so many options. Along with more non-traditional weddings and micro-weddings, more couples are choosing to elope. So should you elope? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The best way to get married is the one that feels most authentic to your relationship and what matters most to you.

This guide will walk you through what an elopement is, how it compares to a structured wedding or micro-wedding, and the questions to ask yourself as you decide what’s right for your day.

Why More Couples Are Choosing to Elope

Many couples I work with who choose to elope feel that having guests, even friends and family, leads to feeling like there’s performative pressure, stress, and a set of expectations that won’t allow them to fully enjoy the first day of their marriage.

Couples are starting to look at getting married as more of an experience just for them instead of a day for following traditions or rules and entertaining guests.

Pros and cons of eloping

Some very simple pro’s and cons of choosing to elope are:

• Pros: less pressure to preform, more intimate just the two of you vibe, more flexibility on location, invest in activities and experiences instead of venue rentals and catering
• Cons: you won’t have a lot of guests, you might get fewer gifts without a reception, you may have to change plans if it rains or snows on your elopement day

What is a modern elopement ?

There was a time when eloping meant running away to be married in secret. That’s an outdated definition. A modern elopement is time for you to have to yourselves, to unplug, unwind, and really focus on your relationship as you journey from dating to becoming married.

Elopement days are flexible and personal. They’re more about experiences than tradition, and it’s not uncommon for couples to plan a block of a few days to have all to themselves for their elopement. It’s a celebration of the two of you, your relationship, and your choice to take the step of marriage. A lot of couples look at eloping as a chance to have time together beyond a quick honeymoon, plan some activities they’ve always wanted to do, and celebrate being together.

How many guests should an elopement have?

Elopements can include a small number of guests, but usually part of the reason couples elope is that they don’t want a lot of guests. Elopements often include 2 witnesses, and maybe a few more special people in your life. Some organizations, like the Elopement Legend Awards, define an elopement as a wedding having less than 15-25 guests.

Should you elope or have a micro-wedding? What’s the difference?

Having a micro-wedding is not the same thing as eloping. Micro-weddings are exactly what they sound like, smaller versions of a wedding day. They often follow the same structure as a traditional wedding day with getting ready, a wedding party, portraits, ceremony, reception meal and dancing. The difference is the guest list is scaled down to usually around 50 or less people.

In the midwest I see a lot of weddings with 100-125 guests being called micro-weddings, but I don’t agree with that. 100 people is a lot of people to direct for family photos, get seated for the ceremony, to feed at a reception and to entertain. Even if you’ve downsized your guest list from 250 to 100-150 people, it’s not micro, it’s actually an average guest size for weddings in the USA.

Most photographers, including myself can bet a little flexible on guest count for micro weddings, but it’s best to be honest with your photographer so they’re prepared and you get the best experience possible. There’s a big difference between photographing a small reception of 45-50 guests vs a reception where there are 100-150 guests.

What an elopement isn’t

An elopement isn’t running away.

When yo elope, you’re letting everything that’s not important to you fall away, and moving towards the things that make you both happy together. You’re not running away from obligations to have a certain type of wedding. You’re making a choice to be empowered by planning the wedding you want.

Elopements aren’t just signing the marriage certificate.

A courthouse ceremony can absolutely be an elopement, but so can exchanging vows at a park, on a lakeshore, renting a cabin for the weekend, hiking to an overlook, or celebrating with dinner afterward. The location doesn’t define the experience. As an elopement photographer, I want to help you plan something more than just signing a marriage certificate, getting a quick portrait and being done with the day.

You don’t have to be an expert hiker to elope.

You don’t have to climb a mountain at sunrise to elope. An elopement can happen in a state park, your backyard, a cozy Airbnb, a downtown rooftop, your favorite coffee shop, or anywhere that feels meaningful to you.

Elopements don’t have to be just the two of you.

Many elopements include parents, siblings, children, grandparents, or a handful of close friends. The guest list is simply very intentional rather than expansive, and the focus of the day isn’t about inviting guests.

An elopement is not a lesser version of a wedding.

An elopement is still a wedding. You can wear the fancy clothes or wedding dress, exchange rings, say vows, have a first dance, cut a cake, go to dinner, hire vendors, celebrate however you want. Or do one of these things, or none of them.

Elopements aren’t only about breaking tradition.

Eloping is about deciding which traditions (if any) matter to you and letting go of the ones that don’t.

For example: You can have a pizza party elopement at home in your most comfy clothes with your friends. Nothing traditional about it. OR you could wear a white dress while your partner wears a suit and elope in an art museum with 10 guests. The white dress and suit are a wedding “tradition” the location is unique. There’s so many ways to mix things up and plan what you want.

Should you elope to save money?

Many people assume that eloping is what you do to save as much money as possible, or that it means every wedding service will be less expensive because it’s “just an elopement”. In reality, while an elopement often costs less overall than a traditional wedding, the professionals you hire, like your photographer, florist, hair and makeup artist, are still providing the same expertise, time, and care. Eloping is still investing in your marriage, and an elopement is still important.

While many couples invest a little less on their elopement than a traditional wedding, the real difference is how they spend. Instead of expense that come with hosting a large event, like a large venue rental and food and drink for all your guests, couples who elope have the freedom to invest in the things they’ll remember most, from photography and travel to incredible meals, meaningful experiences, and cozy places to stay.



Is eloping selfish?

Eloping isn’t selfish. Choosing to elope is choosing to do what feels right for the two of you. This doesn’t mean you care less about your family or friends, and you’re not responsible for managing their reactions to the news that you’re not having a big wedding. Many couples have a few close people they want to share the day with, and find meaningful ways to include them before, during, or after their elopement.

Ways you can include your family in your elopement:

• Invite your most important people to be witnesses
• Have your photographer take a group picture with all your guests
• Livestream the ceremony or have a videographer there to share a video with everyone later
• Send elopement announcement cards with a picture after you get married. Family members will love to have a keepsake even if they didn’t attend the elopement.

What do you tell your family and friends when you decide to elope?

Much like a lot of other things in life, choosing to sharing that you’re eloping is a choice, and you can share it with who you want when you want. Be honest and confident with friends and family if you choose to share your decision to elope with them. You can explain your reasons while expressing that you still care about them and appreciate them.

One of my biggest regrets from planning my own wedding was seeking to please my family instead of planing the way I wanted to, because I didn’t know how to confidently explain how much pressure it was for me to host a wedding, even a micro wedding.

Should you elope and have a reception later?

If you want to yes! Many couples choose to elope and then plan a reception for later. Some chose to have a vow renewal at the reception, and I’ll come back and photograph that too. By separating your wedding into an intimate elopement and gathering later on you can still celebrate with your circle of people while enjoying a wedding day that’s free from stress or social obligations. It’s all about celebrating in the way that feels authentic to you.

Can you elope in your city?

Yes. Local elopements can be just as meaningful as destination elopements. Since there will be less travel, you’ll have more time to relax and enjoy the day. If you want to elope in Minneapolis, I have lots of experience photographing urban elopements and a lot of ideas for different activities and photo opportunities for your day.

Can you elope in any state?

For the most part yes, Every state has it’s own set of laws, permits, paperwork and legal requirements that you need to meet to get married or elope. I can help you do research and connect you with an officiant licensed in that state, so we know we’re doing everything legally

Can your elopement photographer be your officiant?

That depends on the state. Each state has their own rules on credentials and who can legally marry you. In Minnesota they recently removed the requirement for ordination to be an officiant. Anyone, including your elopement photographer, can be your officiant as long as they complete the application process.

In Minnesota, having your photographer be your officiant is a good alternative for couples who want to elope with minimal people. ( You’ll still need two witnesses.)

I can guide you in reading your vows together or doing something else very non traditional for your ceremony anywhere in Minnesota. I’ll stand to the side and take photographs as you read vows, exchange rings, light candles, or do whatever else you want to do to symbolize your marriage.

What season should you elope in?

Honestly, whatever one is your favorite. You can having an amazing elopement in any season and any weather.

Should you elope vs have a big wedding, how do you finally decide?

Know that there isn’t one “right” way to get married, and making this decision is about learning what you really want for yourselves on the day you get married. The biggest difference between an elopement and a wedding isn’t whether one is better than the other. It’s how you want to spend your day, who you want to spend it with, and what experience feels most meaningful to you.

If sharing your day with family and friends is a big part of your vision, and you love the idea of gathering all your loved ones together for a ceremony, dinner, dancing, and celebrating, a wedding or micro-wedding may be the best fit. That doesn’t mean it has to be traditional. Your day can include hand-fasting, photos with llamas, tacos for dinner, s’mores around a campfire, or anything else that feels like you.

If what excites you most is creating a day that’s centered on your relationship, relaxation, reading private vows, visiting scenic spots, spending the weekend in a cabin or at a hotel, or simply enjoying a slower pace with only a a few of your favorite people then maybe an elopement is a better fit.

Many couples find themselves somewhere in between, and that’s okay too. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s definition of what you’re doing. The goal isn’t to choose the “right” type of celebration, but to create a day that feels authentic to your relationship.

What are some elopement and travel destinations in Minnesota?

Top 5 elopement and travel destinations in Minnesota:

• Black Beach
• Tettegouche State Park
• Lyndale Rose Garden
• Minneapolis City Hall
• Palisade Head

These are places many couples chose to elope at, but Minnesota has 100’s of beautiful places for a destination elopement in every corner of the state. Part of what I do for you when you have me as your elopement photographer is help you pick out a place to elope.

How do you elope in Minnesota?

Good news! Minnesota is one of the easiest places to elope in. Read this: How to Elope in Minnesota: A Complete Guide For Planning Your Intentional Wedding

Quick elopement FAQ

• Can you elope without hiking? Yes! You can have an urban elopement in a city, or even chose to elope in a place where you’re close to nature but don’t need to hike.
• How many guests can an elopement have? In Minnesota you need at least 2 guests to be your witnesses. 10-20 people is the average guest count for eloping that I see.
• Can you bring your dog? Yes! Pets are family too and if your dog does well with photos and strangers bring them along!
• Do you need witnesses? Yes. In Minnesota you need two witnesses.
• Can you legally marry yourselves? In Minnesota no, you need an officiant. In some states you can “self solemnize” your marriage, but each state is different so it’s best to research before you plan.
• Do you wear a wedding dress? Couples can wear whatever they want to elope in. A lot of couples I meet choose to dress formally, including wearing a wedding dress, because it’s fun to wear something special and get dressed up for each other.
• How long is an elopement? Elopements can last anywhere from a few hours to an entire weekend. It really depends on what you want to plan.

Ready to Start Planning Your Minnesota Elopement?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Should we elope? An elopement really does feel like us,” I’d love to help you turn those ideas into a real plan. Whether you already have a location in mind or you’re starting with a blank slate, I’ll help you find locations, build a timeline that feels relaxed, and create an experience that feels just right for the two of you.